The circle of futility – and wear your undershirt

I was recently having a conversation with a friend who’s engaged. He’s super excited, but his wife is stressed and feels out of control. He explained that her biggest fear is letting others down and people having a critique about what she’s done.

The conversation evolved as we agreed that you CAN’T worry about others’ opinions, especially on your wedding day. I shared an example of times where I had tried to please others and how it created a circle of futility. One day I was in the office of the CPA firm I was with at the time and was talking with an older manger. As he took stock of my attire he felt compelled to opine; “You’re wearing a crew neck undershirt!” he blurted out. “What the hell’s the matter with you? They look terrible. I can see it you know? Why don’t you wear a V-neck?” he went on. I didn’t know how to react. I had just been jolted by a verbal stun gun. And, I had just always worn crew neck undershirts. I thought that’s what you’re supposed to do.

Heeding the comments of the older and supposedly wiser manager, I switched to V-neck shirts. I felt proud of my new style change. I was a modern man in my young 20’s! That was…until a few months later. My brother spied me one evening and caught sight of my undergarment. “What is that?!” he questioned. “You’re wearing a V-neck? Ha. Why would you do THAT?” he continued as he grimaced. “Oh no!” I thought. “I’m letting down my own brother!”

Before that incident if you had asked me if undershirts would one day serve as a vehicle for a powerful life lesson I would have said “no.” I would have been wrong. This experience taught me, in no on uncertain terms, that it really doesn’t matter what you do. Someone will be able to find fault with it and critique it. You have a choice of going through life as a ping pong for other people’s opinions, or you can take a stand, embrace who YOU are, and DAMN THE NAYSAYERS. Clearly half of them have it wrong anyway! Today I continue to stick with my V-necks (I find them more comfortable) and don’t care what people in the crew neck camp have to say about it. Meanwhile, my friend’s fiancé needs to pick an undershirt, and embrace it.

Taking my undershirt life lesson leads to my next thought which has to do with Burpees. But for now, I’ll let you try these thoughts on for size.